The mother-daughter bond is vulnerable, empowering, and beautiful. We can also say the same about our relationship with our natural hair. Although the journey to embracing our hair hasn't always been easy, a mother's love can shape how we see our curls, kinks, and, coils.
This Mother’s Day, we also learned that daughters are just as impactful in showing us how to love our hair from the inside out. We spoke with three amazing Heat Free Hair moms who shared how their daughters teach them to love their natural hair. Here's what they had to say:
Ayana Iman, Motivational Speaker -Trenton, NJ
Photo: S.Bola.Okoya (Ayana with daughter Ayo Lola)
1. How would you describe your daughter’s natural hair texture?
Ayo's hair is thick and soft to the touch. At times it can lack moisture but a quick treatment of aloe vera gel, water with essential oils, and vegetable glycerin, combined with love fixes that. I can't quite pinpoint her exact hair texture, but I'd say it's around a 4B.
Photo: S.Bola.Okoya
2. What is your earliest memory of your daughter acknowledging her hair? What did she say or do?
Ayo would run to the mirror to check herself out after I did her hair for the day. She would let me know if she loved it...or not. I raised her to be self-aware and stand firm in her beliefs. We work together to find the best styles that will care for her tresses while making her feel confident.
3. How did she teach you to embrace your natural texture?
From a young age, we practiced affirmations. It was important to me that she knew who she was and embraced every part of herself, especially her hair. She was not (and will never be) taught about "good hair" vs. "bad hair", which is used to make women feel inferior about their curl patterns. All she knows is that "good hair" is healthy hair, and with or without it, the true essence of her beauty is based on her character.
Photo: S.Bola.Okoya
Jamie Lynn, Mommy Influencer -Maryland
(Jamie and daughters Rosie (L) and Ella (R))
1. How would you describe your daughter’s natural hair texture?
My daughters have two different hair textures. Rosie, my youngest daughter has thick hair and her hair type is between 4a and 4b. My oldest daughter, Ella's hair texture is tight and curly.
(Ella (L) and Rosie (R))
2. What is your earliest memory of your daughters acknowledging their hair? What did they say or do?
When Ella was 3 her favorite movie was Frozen and naturally, she wanted to look like Elsa and Anna. I would often find her pulling on her hair attempting to get it straight. I asked her what did she love about the princess hair and what she loved about her hair. It turns out she loved the length and the color. I told her that her curly hair can’t look exactly like the princess but we can find styles that would make her happy. Instead of our wash and go hairstyle, I did a twist out and put it into pigtails and added hair chalk for color. She loved walking around in her costume at school with her new hairstyle and I was so proud that she loved it.
3. How did they teach you to embrace your natural texture?
It was important for me to find books and toys that looked like her so that she can relate to them. I also wanted to help build up her confidence so every morning we would say something that we loved about our curly hair. Ella enjoyed hearing me compliment my curly hair and this helped her love her curly hair more. Luckily Rosie has an older sister that she admires. Rosie loves to look just like Ella and mommy.
Dr. Dionna Hancock-Johnson, Psychologist and Celebrity Life Coach- Los Angeles, CA
1. How would you describe your daughter’s natural hair texture?
I would describe my daughter's hair texture as being coarse, kinky, thick, curly, and coily. Her natural daily style is an afro rocking these textures.
(Dionna's daughter Ce'Onna Meilani)
2. What is your earliest memory of your daughter acknowledging her hair? What did she say or do?
My earliest memory of her acknowledging her hair is when she was about 2 and she looked in the mirror and said she wanted her hair to look just like mine. At the time I was wearing my natural afro, which is a different texture from her hair. I would say it is more 3c/4a, but the fact that she acknowledged my afro at such a young age and wanted the same look as myself was by far my fondest memory of our first mother and daughter hair moment. I look forward to many more of these moments as we continue to grow our natural afros together.
(Dionna and daughter Ce'Onna Meilani)
3. How did she teach you to embrace your natural texture?
My daughter taught me to embrace my natural hair texture by telling me she wanted to be just as beautiful as me with the same hairstyle.
